3 Miracles..

Every time I witness life force leaving a body, I am reminded of the only 3 miracles I believe in. 3 Miracles that exist which nobody can deny.

Conception of a child.
Changes all living bodies go through, aging.

Breathe in, breathe out. Such a simple thing to do. Monotonous thing to do. But one never tires of it. Fatigue doesn't prompt us to stop breathing. There are somethings that go on, no matter what.

Everytime I get tired of something but know that giving up is not an available choice, I treat it as breathing. Stopping is just not an option so exhaustion becomes irrelevant.

No wonder they say 'life goes on', no matter what. That is the reason I love history, ruins, myths and talking to old people so much. They connect the dots.

Dots that make the road that is nobody's destination.
Just a path to be traversed. A journey to be undertaken.

A journey fueled by the life force.
Life force that makes me believe in 3 miracles.

You can do anything.
Change the world. Or change your life.
You can be a star. Or an insignificant earthworm.
You can experience anything.
The heights of depression, the throes of elation.
You can radiate light, or just unnecessary heat.
You can crib and cry. Or smile and be merry.
You can decide to be happy, Untouched by anything and anyone.
Or wallow in misery, thinking nobody cares.
You can be a mess. You can decide not to.
You can achieve nirvana. Without a drug. (Or a music band.)
Yes, you can!!

On this positive note.. yes I am blogging again :)


There are no more tears
The well now is dry
I’ve no more to give
I’ve cried my last cry
My energy’s sapped
I’ve fought my last fight
Perhaps one day soon
Everything will be right!

One more time..

Let’s just one more time
Hold hands and stand
On that foggy mountain crest.
Let’s just take one more look at this world,
Out of our so called circus of life.
One more time, leave the car behind
And walk on this empty road
With me, looking at the stars.
For just one more time,
Stand under the pouring rain
Feeling the cold under your skin,
Listening to that song
We used to sing along.
For just the last time’s sake,
Laugh with me your heart open,
Cry with me your heart broken, tonight.
For the memories of us together,
For the love that lies dead under –
Let’s pretend, let’s pretend we’re alright…
And just when I fall asleep –
Silently, kiss me the last goodnight.

PS: This is not the outcome of any anxiety disorder :D

Birthday blues

Another year has just simply flown by
And I look myself straight in the eye
So what will I become from today?
Older and wiser? I really can’t say

That face in the mirror, who is she?
She’s a much older version of me
Is the image that’s inside my head
Or simply me,frozen with time instead?

And the mirror it’s there – mocking me
Is this really what you all can see?
A woman who has gone past her prime
With a face that is now lined with time

Is the light playing tricks with my mind?
Casting shadows so dark and unkind
Must I really face up to the truth?
That I’ll never recapture my youth

No- the real me is there in my head
The other’s an imposter instead
For she is growing old gracefully
And you know that is really not me

Growing up –no thanks.. What is the rush :D

Ever since then - seeing you was never easy on me. It used to send me into shakes, instant migraines, instant diarrhoea - my body's manifestation of extreme stress. I was miserable for days afterward.
But today,I still felt like my lungs and stomach had curiously gone missing. Someone had quickly reached into me and removed some fundamental organs - so intense was the feeling of emptiness. But oh, after ages, it made me smile. You made me smile.
Let me explain the oxymoron.
When I turned and looked out my car window, I was not expecting to see you.I had not thought of you, to be honest, for a long time now. And you were the last thing on my mind. But I turned and my eyes, barely skimmed you before looking away and then back.
How could I not recognize you. Still in baggy jeans, clumsy t-shirts; your hair still knotted in one of those endless elastic bands. Even your posture's not changed - some hint of insolence remained even as you leaned against the car and talked to your friend.
It took my eyes half a second to drink in the details. Your silhouette in the yellow streetlight, the bridge of your nose, the angle of your elbow, the contour of your eyes...Self conviction was on process ‘you are not worth the admiration’.
It's ridiculous how it is. The work of an instant to undo everything you have done over the past several years and for you to be catapulted, as easily as a toy with no choice, into a life, a mind, a perspective that you thought you had buried and attended the funeral for, ages ago.
I was unprepared for that sealed pandora's box to open up like that, for all those unbidden memories to fly up, at me, into my consciousness, a steady streaming of information, smells, noises, words, colors, beauty, feeling of you.
It hit me hard. But gently together and even as the floor of my stomach fell out with shock, I smiled. I couldn't seem to hold you out, couldn't keep you out. The bad and the good.
Yes, you're an impulse dormant in me.

Disclaimer: The characters and events in this write up are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to someone alive or dead (who knows) is highly accidental :P

Somewhere between night and day
There is a place I like to stay
Just for a time the world stands still
An empty day with space to fill
A moment spent beneath the skies
Watching as the sun begins to rise

Somewhere between day and night
There’s a place where I feel right
The day is over, my work is ended
For a time all thoughts suspended
All the day’s trouble I forget
As the sinking sun begins to set

Half light moments these may be
But in half light I can clearly see.